blocked?

[amedia]

I got a sweet email the other day from a fellow Barney Miller author who hadn't heard from me in a while and wondered how I was. I still have to write back to her, and as I mentally framed my response I realized I would have to admit that I've hardly written anything lately. And that made me sad, because I really don't know why I'm not writing.

And somehow that led to a poem.


*shrug*

by Amedia

And if I never wrote again
if the pen sat idle and the notebook
gathered dust in a bag somewhere
what do I lose really?

Accolades are nice but better to give--
insightful critique is still a craft,
after all, and the thought
"that should be me being praised"
is a childish one and the thought
"my readers are missing what
I could give them"
is unspeakably vain,
so what do I lose?

Limitless potentiality narrowed
with every word scratched
letter by letter
onto the page
into an actuality
necessarily inferior to all that
could have been,
yet infinitely superior merely by
existing.

Scraps of accomplishment to clutch -
I may not miss
the hard work of writing but I miss
having written.

Comments

[keikokin.livejournal.com]

*sniff* That was perfect! I've felt that way too at times. Oh honey you are too good to stop. Sabbaticals are allowed, but that's it. *sticks out chin, crosses arms and makes stubborn pouty face at you*

[amedia.livejournal.com]

Oh honey you are too good to stop.

:blush: Thank you!

*sticks out chin, crosses arms and makes stubborn pouty face at you*

Okay, okay, I surrender to the pouty face! Look what I've gone and done:
http://amedia.livejournal.com/52903.html

[nonniemous.livejournal.com]

You've nailed the way my writing soul has felt for a long while now, especially that last paragraph. I *miss* having written, so much.

[amedia.livejournal.com]

Thank you! After posting, I was so afraid that it was just navel-gazing that wouldn't relate to anyone else; I'm glad to have struck a responsive chord.