amedia

Title: Scarecrow on a Stick
Author: Amedia
Characters: Cain/Ambrose
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Imagiquest Entertainment. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Note: Response to a challenge from

theemdash, who is promulgating "Something on a Stick Day" by encouraging people to commit ~~porn~~ fic that contains, well, something on a stick. Originally posted here.

Boingy. Boingy. Crash. Clatter. Boingy. Boingy.

Cain wasn't sure what that sound was, but as the head of security for the Northern Palace, he felt obligated to investigate. Following the sound, he found himself approaching an overgrown playground where someone appeared to be practicing on a pogo stick. As he came closer, he recognized the Queen's Chief Advisor, in full regalia and looking quite elegant except for the bandage around his head and the aforementioned pogo stick.

"Gli—Ambrose, what do you think you're doing?" Cain asked, standing as close as he dared.

Crash. Clatter. Ambrose picked himself up, waving off Cain's proffered assistance, brushed himself off, and said with some dignity, "Doctor Iatros recommended this as one of a number of balance exercises to reintegrate the gross-motor coordination areas of my brain."

"Oh," Cain said. "Um, don't you need a spotter?" He picked up the stick, noting how dented and battered it was from frequent tumbles. "This looks dangerous."

"Nonsense," said Ambrose. "I'm a grown man. I've traveled the entire O.Z. with half a brain; I think I can manage a child's toy with a full one." He held out his hand and Cain handed him the stick. "You haven't asked me what other exercises she recommended."

Cain sighed. "Oh, all right. What other exercises did she recommend? I don't see a hula-hoop anywhere. Line dancing?"

Ambrose stepped closer. "Sex."

"Sex?" Cain asked.

"Lots and lots of it."

"That sounds dangerous, too.'

Ambrose smiled. "Only if you want it to be."

"Only if I—hey, are you propositioning me?"

Ambrose made a show of looking around the deserted area. "Unless you see another possible referent for 'you' around here. I'm not talking to the pogo stick."

"Better not be," Cain murmured, just before he leaned forward and kissed Ambrose.

The pogo stick fell to the ground. Clatter. Neither of them noticed it.